Welcoming Children Home


welcome doormat

We welcome children home.

Whether they have been gone for an hour with the babysitter, a day with a friend or a year at university.

We welcome them in.

Then those children we so dearly embrace start to ask for things. Say things.  Comment on things.  Demand things.  Get upset with things. Reject things.  Have their own opinion about things.

The initial welcome fades into a thin veneer of  what seem like compassion or pity for their whinging, their whineing, their demands on us for our time, our hearts, our understanding, our money, our space…

And then arises the rejection.  I welcome this child but not this state they bring with them.  We go into conflict.  We fight against our children for what they bring into our homes.

Sitting with Jeff Foster on a non-duality retreat called “The Deepest Acceptance” I began to see what it is to truly be a  joyful parent what joyful parents the world over are awakening to.  That what  our children are really  bringing  to us is those thoughts and feelings and challenges that are never deeply welcomed.

It’s like we’ve got a mat at the door saying go away. We reject those so called negative states.  In the name of my child I feel upset.  In the name of my child I feel angry.  I get depressed and I erroneously think it is caused by the stress of having a child.

Can I welcome the anger, the upset or the depression  into my home too?  Can I accept them?  Can I see these are my children too?  And actually can I see that I have no choice whether or not to accept these things.  Like it or not the child, the feeling, the thought or the sensation comes home.  They are already through the door.

Unconditional parenting is seeing all of it come into our homes, breathing with the profound open heart of welcome.

Your children are  home.

Welcome.

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